Kaden


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Posts from April 2013


One Way Ticket to Mars
AND 33,000 People Signed Up!!!!!
Back in March, a private company called Mars One announced they were offering FREE TRIPS to Mars in 2023.

But there was a catch . . . it's a ONE-WAY ticket.  So you're not just volunteering to GO to Mars, you're also volunteering to DIE ON Mars.
 
Who'd be interested in THAT deal?  It turns out, a LOT of people.
 
One week ago, Mars One opened up the application process . . . and in just the first two days, 33,000 PEOPLE applied to take the one-way trip to Mars.
 
The application process is still open to anyone who's healthy and over age 18.  You can submit your application at Mars-One.com.  They're only planning to take 24 people in the end, so the odds aren't with you to die on Mars.
 
(Sun News)
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A Guy Shoplifts To Keep Looking Smooth... He Took Rogaine
There's a shoplifter in Colorado who dresses sharp . . . and shoplifts stuff to KEEP him looking sharp.  He's hit several Walgreen's stores this month, and stole teeth-whitening strips, weight loss pills, condoms, and Rogaine.  Police are still looking for him.
This is a pretty vicious cycle:  There's a shoplifter in Colorado who doesn't arouse much suspicion because he LOOKS sharp and rich.  But he only looks that way BECAUSE of his shoplifting . . .

The sheriff's department in Jefferson County, Colorado is looking for a repeat shoplifter who hits Walgreen's stores in the area.
 
He's black and in his late 30's, he comes into the store wearing a sweater, tie, and nice pants.  And he has a tightly groomed mustache and beard.
 
Then he steals teeth-whitening strips, weight loss pills, condoms, and Rogaine.
 
He's hit several stores this month, and stolen THOUSANDS of dollars worth of stuff. 
 
(Denver Westword)
 
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A Woman Calls 911 And Says "Her Drug Dealer Won't Return Her $50"
A Florida woman ended up behind bars for calling 911 to complain that she'd been robbed of 50 bucks – by a drug dealer who wouldn't return the cash she gave him after she decided she didn't want to go through with the transaction.

Katrina Tisdale dialed the emergency number twice to report a theft, but when officers responded to the call, she told them she needed help in retrieving the money she'd given to her regular dealer because she realized she didn't have any other cash left over from her social security check.

Tisdale was arrested on charges of misusing the 911 system – the same charge that landed her in jail two years ago. 

(Tampa Bay Times)


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A Woman Gets Carjacked . . . By Her Date
Here is a reason that blind dates don't work!!!
Last week, 21-year-old Nimeha Milien of Lake Worth, Florida went on a first date with 19-year-old Donald McGee Junior of Hollywood, Florida.  They hadn't met in person before, but they'd been texting.

Things started pretty well.  They went for a nice romantic walk on the beach, and had a great conversation.  Then they went to Wendy's to end their night.

Donald told Nimeha his brother was coming to pick him up . . . then suddenly WHIPPED OUT A GUN and CARJACKED her.

Donald sped off in Nimeha's 2000 Honda Civic . . . and she went to a gas station to call 911.  The cops chased Donald for about eight miles, until he lost control and spun off the road.

He was arrested for armed carjacking, robbery with a firearm, possession of marijuana, driving without a license, and fleeing police.

Nimeha says she's done with dating for a little while.

(South Florida Sun-Sentinel / Gawker / ABC 25 - West Palm Beach) 
 
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Scaredy-Cat Burglar!!
A Romanian man ended up behind bars after he called cops to report a burglary ... at a house he was already in the middle of burglarizing!
Marius Ionescu was ransacking the home when he heard a loud noise and panicked, hiding under a bed and calling police to report the intruder. When the officers arrived at the address, they conducted a search and found just one person on the premises – Marius, still cowering in the bedroom.

A spokesperson for the police department in Benesti, where the crime occurred, said, "The noise he heard was probably just the family cat. He already has a criminal record for similar break-ins, and given his nervous disposition, he probably should look for another job." 

(Shortlist)
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Mom Buys Her Kids BB Guns... Then Drives Them Around To Shoot Cars!!!
THIS is what happens when you get swept up in trying to be the COOLEST MOM EVER and forget about things like "boundaries" and "laws."
A few weeks ago, 43-year-old Susan Becker of East Northport, New York took her 15-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter out to buy a BB GUN.  Then, she drove them around Long Island . . . so they could SHOOT AT CARS.
The police got more than SIXTY reports of broken car windows from BBs over the past two weeks.  They finally caught Susan this weekend.
Susan was arrested on Friday and charged with criminal mischief and endangering the welfare of a child.  She's locked up right now on $30,000 bail and is due in court tomorrow.
(NBC 4 - New York)
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THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART!!!
We're pretty sure that every day, THOUSANDS of people tell someone, "I like hanging out with you, but I'm just not looking for a relationship right now."

But it rarely turns out THIS badly.

This week, 22-year-old Laquavia Wallace was over at her ex-boyfriend's house in Tampa, Florida to pick up their daughter.  Her ex's name is Antonio Williams.

Laquavia and Antonio had been spending some time together again... and Laquavia wanted to get back together.  But Antonio gave her the standard, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" speech.
 
And Laquavia responded by . . . GRABBING Antonio's junk and VIOLENTLY YANKING it, over and over.  Almost like she was trying to rip it off.
 
She was arrested for misdemeanor battery.
 
(The Smoking Gun) 
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Milk That Tastes Like the Milk at the Bottom of a Cereal Bowl
It's about time!!!!
One of the highlights of eating really sugary cereal... besides diabetes...is drinking the milk that's left in the bowl.  Because all that sugar soaks in, and turns it into some kind of impossibly delicious super-milk.

Well . . . a company is FINALLY selling milk that tastes like the milk from the bottom of a cereal bowl.

The company is called Cow Wow, and their "cereal milk" is just about to roll out nationwide.

The milk comes in two flavors.  We haven't tried them, but from the packaging we're guessing they're modeled after the milk left behind by Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles.

They have two more flavors coming out later this year.  And based on the packaging for those, we're guessing they're designed to taste like Lucky Charms, and the HOLY GRAIL of cereal milk flavors . . . Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

The milk comes in eight-and-a-half-ounce packages, and they have about 175 calories each.
 
(Jezebel)

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Judge holds himself in contempt!!
A Judge breaks his own rule and enforces punishment on himself!!!
Raymond Voet is a district court judge in Ionia, Michigan.  And he has a strict policy that if your cell phone goes off in the courtroom, he'll hold you in contempt of court.
And on Friday, during a trial, a phone went off in Voet's courtroom.  There was only one problem . . . it was HIS OWN PHONE.
And to his credit, he stuck by his rules . . . and held HIMSELF in contempt of court.  He hit himself with the standard $25 fine.
Voet says he just switched from a BlackBerry to a Windows phone, and he must have bumped the phone.
Quote, "That's an excuse, but I don't take those excuses from anyone else.  I set the bar high, because cell phones are a distraction and there is very serious business going on . . . I broke the rule and I have to live by it."
(Grand Rapids Press)
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A woman calls the cops for "harassment" by a security guard... for shoplifting!!
She really didn't think this one out!!!
This happened a few weeks back, but just hit the news now.
On March 26th, a woman called the police in Crestview, Florida to report that a man was HARASSING her at Walmart.  So the cops headed over to investigate.
Well . . . turns out the man was actually a Walmart SECURITY GUARD.  And the reason he was "harassing" her was that she was trying to SHOPLIFT about $140 worth of stuff.
By the time the cops got there, the woman was gone.  But the security guard had taken down her license plate, and the cops quickly tracked her down and pulled her over.
Then the cops "harassed" her too . . . by arresting her for theft.
 
(Northwest Florida Daily News)
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Dumb Criminals...
You forgot something Mr. Robber

A bank robber in Florida lost his grip on an easy heist when he set down his pistol while stuffing cash into his getaway bag and found himself held at gunpoint by a teller.


The suspect, said to be in his late 40's, entered the branch with his gun already drawn and demanded money from one employee. The man behind the counter reportedly started handing over the greenbacks right away, but when the pace got to be too much for the crook, he put down his gun, which the teller grabbed "without hesitation."


Police say he ran and was seen heading north on a light colored bicycle. 


(Central Florida News)

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Man's Best Friend.... Until Pudding Is Involved!
A burglar breaks in and feeds the family dog pudding... So the dog decides to go with him!!

If this happened to me, I'd be angry at the burglar . . . but I'd be even ANGRIER at my dog.

 

On Saturday night, a couple in East Wenatchee, Washington came home and found a BURGLAR in their kitchen.  And their dog, a lab-pitbull mix named Buddy, wasn't attacking the burglar . . . because the guy was feeding Buddy some PUDDING.

 

The burglar turned out to be 38-year-old Jason McDaniel, and the couple asked him what he was doing there . . . as you do when you find a burglar in your house, feeding your dog pudding. 

 

Jason told them he was looking for a guy to KILL.  And when the couple explained that the guy he was looking for didn't live there, Jason decided to leave.

 

And as he walked out . . . Buddy the dog WENT WITH HIM.  Apparently all it took was a little pudding to COMPLETELY shift Buddy's loyalty to Jason.

 

The cops tracked Jason down and arrested him for residential burglary.  But they DIDN'T find Buddy at his apartment . . . so now Buddy is MISSING.

 

(Wenatchee World)

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