This is one of those stories about AMERICAN LAZINESS that's REALLY hard to defend. Like, if a pretentious German tourist started berating you about it, you might have to sit there and take it.
Apparently, ready-made popcorn is seeing a huge sales growth in the U.S. . . . because we've become SO LAZY we think that microwaving a bag of popcorn is too much work. In the past year, microwave popcorn has grown 0.84%. Popcorn that's already popped has grown 11.9%. Colleen Bailey is the brand director at Orville Redenbacher. And she says, quote, "Microwave popcorn was all about convenience, having only to wait three minutes to get warm, delicious popcorn. As times changed, the definition of convenience has changed." An industry analyst took that even further. She says Americans love already-popped popcorn because, quote, "You don't have to take the extra step of opening the box, opening the wrapper, [and] hoping you have the skill to watch it so you don't ruin [it]."
On Saturday night, 26-year-old Jeffery Tyler Siegel of Jonesboro, Arkansas was on a date, taking a romantic walk through the Crowley's Ridge Nature Center. When suddenly, a KNIFE-WIELDING MANIAC attacked.
Jeffrey jumped in front of his date, told her to run, then stayed back to fight the guy off. He took two small slashes to the chest, but managed to make the guy run away.
The police and K9 units combed the area for hours, but couldn't find the knife-wielding maniac. Then they noticed Jeffrey saying things that didn't add up . . . and his date told them Jeffrey was texting right before the attack. So they figured it out . . .
Jeffrey had STAGED the entire thing to impress his date. The guy with the knife was really just his friend.
The police told Jeffrey if he admitted it they wouldn't file charges. He admitted it, they kept their word, and the case is closed.
Jeffrey's date was NOT impressed, by the way. She told a reporter that what he did was, quote, "not very heroic."
This is a pretty good way to foil a couple of idiotic amateur robbers.
Last Thursday, 23-year-old Jeremy Lovitt and 19-year-old Gabriel Gonzales went to a Burger King in Stockton, California to rob the place. As some of the employees gave them cash, one employee noticed the guys' getaway car outside the restaurant and idling. So he snuck outside, hopped in, and DROVE OFF in their getaway car. When Jeremy and Gabriel got outside and found their car missing, they panicked and started running. But the cops quickly caught up with them and arrested them. (FOX 40 - Sacramento / NBC 24 - Fresno)
You've probably never heard of Dorset, Minnesota. It's a TINY town in central Minnesota with 22 residents. But THIS is going to get them on the map.
The new mayor of Dorset is . . . a FOUR-YEAR-OLD. His name is Robert "Bobbie" Tufts, and obviously he's the youngest mayor in the country. Dorset doesn't hold elections for mayor . . . they just put everyone's name in a hat and pick out the mayor for the year. And this year, Bobbie won. It's not entirely clear what his job duties are as mayor . . . we're guessing it's just a few public appearances and nothing else. Other than having a random mayor, Dorset's other attempted claim to fame is calling itself the "Restaurant Capital of the World" . . . because they have more restaurants per capita than any other city. I think the mayor thing is a better angle. (Opposing Views)
There aren't many pranks OLDER than putting a "KICK ME" sign on someone's back. But this might be the first time it's found its way into a LAWSUIT.
Harvey Palacio of Albuquerque, New Mexico is an employee at Intel. And he just filed a LAWSUIT against the company because his coworkers put a "kick me" sign on his back last August . . . and actually DID kick him. Harvey says his coworkers usually gave him a hard time, and it peaked with the "kick me" sign. When he went to his boss to complain, his boss ALSO kicked him. The lawsuit is seeking an unspecified amount for damages. Two of the employees who kicked Harvey, including his boss, have already been convicted of petty misdemeanor battery. They each got 16 hours of community service and lost their jobs. Harvey is still working at Intel. Intel says it's reviewing the lawsuit. (Huffington Post)
According to a study earlier this year, 7% of men and 2% of women say if they see an animal in the road . . . sometimes they INTENTIONALLY try to hit it.
An NBC affiliate in Oklahoma City wanted to see if people would SWERVE to avoid an animal in the road. So last week, they put a rubber turtle in the street and observed what happened over two days. In general, most people swerved out of the way. But not everyone did. Four drivers went to the dark side . . . and INTENTIONALLY RAN OVER the turtle. And one car of guys saw the turtle, stopped . . . and STOLE IT. The news chased them down to get it back. The driver told them he stole the turtle because he RACES TURTLES. Quote, "It looked real. I was waiting for it to pee on me. He's not going to win any races."
Thursday was a big day for 58-year-old Erin James of Brookfield, Illinois. She just got her license back after a DUI conviction last year. And to celebrate getting her driving privileges back . . . she went out DRINKING.
You can see where this is going. Her license renewal came to a very quick end . . . because a few hours later, she was pulled over driving herself home, and was arrested for drunk driving. Erin blew a .155 on the breathalyzer, which is just about double the legal limit. The police say Erin intentionally drove someone else's car to the bar because her car had one of those court-ordered breathalyzer ignition locks. This time, Erin is looking at losing her license for TEN YEARS . . . and seven years in prison.
What kind of grandson tries to SELL OUT his sweet old grandmother? She better cut him off from butterscotch candies after THIS.
This happened back in March, but the details didn't come out until a court hearing this week.
On March 2nd, 22-year-old John Ventresca Junior of Center Township, Pennsylvania was driving drunk. He pulled into a convenience store parking lot . . . and ended up hitting TWO parked cars and crashing into a POLE.
When the cops got there, John told them his GRANDMA was driving . . . and that she was inside using the bathroom. He told the cops his grandma crashed because, quote, "she's old, broke her shoulder, and is wearing a sling."
But his grandma wasn't even there. He made the whole thing up to try to pin it on her.
John is facing a DUI charge, plus charges of driving with a suspended license and causing an accident involving unattended property.
Maybe when it comes to catching the DUMBEST criminals, a really soft, plush, comfortable place to sleep works better than an alarm?
Last week, 25-year-old Christopher White of Waterford, Wisconsin got hammered, and broke into a Remax real estate office in Burlington, Wisconsin.
First, he grabbed all the computers and took them outside. But before he could leave with them, something caught his eye. There was a large BEARSKIN RUG on the wall . . . and it must've looked too good to pass up.
So Christopher pulled it down off the wall, curled up on it, and went to sleep.
When employees got to work around 8:30 A.M., they found him sleeping on the rug. The cops came, woke him up, and arrested him.
One of the realtors from the office summed up the night. Quote, "You can't fix stupid. You can just arrest it."