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Posts from June 2013

What a Croc!
A Florida man ran into some serious trouble during an attempted robbery, thanks to a Croc – not the animal, but the shoe that he left behind at the scene of the crime.
Dominick Andrew Giordano was trying to break into a pick-up truck in the parking lot of a Chipotle restaurant when the owner shouted at him, leading him to run off – and out of the black Crocs he was wearing.  The victim tracked Giordano to a discount shoe store, where a deputy approached him and found he was carrying a brand-new pair of shoes – and sporting a big stain that he'd created when he peed himself in fear.Giordano offered an explanation, according to the police report. He said he thought the Toyota Tundra was his because he "used to have a truck." 

(South Florida Sun Sentinel)
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There are Fewer Hurricanes Than Expected, Thanks to . . . Pollution??
 Keep on driving a truck that gets six miles-per-gallon and dumping your toxic waste into the lake!!
According to a new study, POLLUTION has actually kept the number of Atlantic Ocean hurricanes and tropical storms DOWN.  Researchers found the particles from air pollution help keep hurricanes from forming on the ocean.  And they found that since we started pushing to curb pollution in the 80's, hurricanes and tropical storms have increased.  Of course, there are a million BAD side effects of pollution . . . but this could be the one good one.  It's also another sign that yes, what humans do affects and changes the climate.  

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Man can't steal car... because it's a manual transmission.
A Florida man who tried to carjack a woman at gunpoint earlier this week got an automatic trip to jail – because he couldn't drive a car with a manual transmission.
The woman, whose name was not released, was flagged down by three teenage girls who started chatting with her before Antoren Bell burst on the scene with gun drawn – telling her it was now his car. The victim fled, leaving Bell to climb into the driver's seat, only to find that he had no clue how to maneuver the vehicle, which he abandoned.Officers quickly caught up with Bell and put the brakes on his criminal career – taking him to jail where he's being held on a $400,000 bond. 

(Pensacola News-Journal)
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A Woman and Her Son Were Arrested for Stealing $5,000 Worth of Frozen Gopher Fee
In Minnesota, a 37-year-old mother and her 18-year-old son are in trouble . . . for allegedly stealing $5,000 worth of FROZEN GOPHER FEET.  Apparently you can get a reward for killing gophers to keep the population down, and you get that money by turning in their feet.  So the mother and son stole a ton of feet out of a gopher trapper's freezer.  They're facing theft charges.
This isn't one of those universal crimes where you feel like it might happen to you.  Because this will NEVER happen to you.  In Preston, in southeast Minnesota, a mother and son are accused of stealing $5,000 worth of FROZEN GOPHER FEET.  Apparently, a local gopher trapper had the feet in his freezer.  37-year-old Tina Marie Garrison and her son, 18-year-old Junior Lee Dillon broke into his house and stole the gopher feet.  They were caught when they tried to turn in the feet for cash.  In some parts of Minnesota, gopher trappers kill gophers to keep the population down, and turn in their feet to get reward money.  Tina and Junior wanted to make about $3 per foot.  Both of them have been charged with receiving stolen property and theft.  But they deny they stole the feet, and say they're their own gopher feet.  

(Post Bulletin)
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Messed Up in Aisle Four!!!
An Alaska man pulled right into the express line to jail when he was busted for driving under the influence – while behind the wheel of a motorized shopping cart at a grocery store.
Merrill Keith Moses was trying to drive out of the store's parking lot when cops arrived on the scene. His escape was hindered by a store employee who was holding onto the handlebars of the cart in order to impede his progress – and who told officers that Moses regularly piloted similar carts while wasted.He was given a preliminary Breathalyzer test, which measured his breath-alcohol content at .310 percent – nearly four times the legal limit. 

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Crooks Dial a Really Wrong Number
An elderly New York City woman was confronted by two thugs trying to pull a home invasion robbery, so she grabbed her phone -- not to call 911, but to crack the men over their heads!
Queens resident Margaret Mazzio saw two guys dressed in FedEx vests trying to force their way into her house, and made the call to handle the situation herself. Her daughter-in-law, who was also in the home at the time, says, "My mother-in-law laid into him with her house phone. She swung and hit him right in the head. He lunged in at her like he was going to attack her, and my sister-in-law grabbed him by the arms and threw him out the door." 

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A Golfer Breaks an Iron Over Another Golfer's Arm... After an Argument Over His
 Golf is one of those things that's SUPPOSED to be a great way to relax . . . but usually has the EXACT opposite effect.  And THIS is what happens when a golf freak-out goes to the EXTREME.
Last Thursday afternoon, 59-year-old Glenn Lott was playing golf in Oakland Township, Michigan, just outside Detroit.  On the 13th hole, a 65-year-old golfer in his group started questioning Glenn about his score on the last hole.  So Glenn FLIPPED OUT on the guy.  He grabbed his five-iron, swung it at the guy, BROKE it over the guy's arm, then used the jagged shaft to STAB the guy in the same arm.  The guy took off running, so Glenn hopped in a golf cart and tried to RUN HIM DOWN.  The other golfer got away safely.  He was treated on the scene and needed stitches.   It's not clear if they knew each other, or if they were just randomly paired up.  But Glenn is facing a felony aggravated assault charge.  

(The Smoking Gun)
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Now That's a Back to School Sale!
Some Canadian high schoolers weren't satisfied with cleaning out their lockers at the end of the year, so they decided to clean out the whole school – by placing an ad attempting to put it up for sale!
The ad, placed by a group of graduating seniors, shows an asking price of $1.2 million, which includes the grounds of Paul Kane High School in St. Albert, Alberta – and even throws in a full staff, including all full- and part-time teachers.They also agree to include the sophomore and junior classes at the school, noting to sellers that students are built for "optimal performance," and will "meet your every need," from drama performances to haircuts in the cosmetology lab. 

(Huffington Post)
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The Price Is Wrong!
A North Carolina woman saw her disability scam spin out after she took a spin of her own – as a contestant on The Price Is Right!
Cathy Wrench Cashwell had been collecting a pension for several years after claiming she couldn't carry out her duties as a postal worker because of a serious shoulder injury she suffered on the job. She had filed paperwork claiming that she couldn't stand, sit, kneel, squat, climb, bend, reach or grasp in any way.But during the course of an investigation, one eagle-eyed worker spotted her on the game show, where she was able to raise both hands above her head and give a hearty spin to the showcase showdown wheel. She pled guilty on Monday to charges of federal fraud charges.That sort of outcome had to make her come on down – way down. 

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A Guy Winds Up With Burned Buttocks Because He was Sagging His Pants When a Hous
Sagging your pants makes you look like an IDIOT.  Which is why this story warms our hearts.
On Friday, 22-year-old Rasheed Garcia of the Bronx, New York was at home.  And Rasheed's a guy who likes to wear his pants so they're SAGGING down below his buttocks.  Anyway, the house caught on FIRE.  The fire was on the first floor, and Rasheed was on the third floor . . . so he had to JUMP to escape.  In the process, he suffered BURNS on his BUTTOCKS . . . all because he was sagging his pants.  And according to a fire department source, quote, "He had his pants around his buttocks.  He got burned on the buttocks.  If he had pants on [right], he wouldn't have gotten burned."  He's in stable condition.  

New York Post)
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