If you run into a burning building to save a person or a pet, you're a hero. If it's anything else . . . you're a MORON. Here's a prime example.
Around 3:00 P.M. on Sunday, a fire broke out in the basement apartment of a building in St. Paul, Minnesota. And when firefighters got there, they found the couple who lived there still inside . . . trying to rescue their flat-screen TELEVISION. The couple's names haven't been released. But according to a fire department spokesman, the unit was filled with black smoke when they arrived. And the man and woman were in the middle of disconnecting the cords from the back of the TV. Both ended up having to go to the hospital for smoke inhalation, but apparently they're okay. And it turns out they were the ones who'd accidentally STARTED the fire while they were smoking. Luckily, firefighters were able to contain it pretty quickly. But it still caused about $90,000 worth of damage. No one else was hurt . . . and officials say they're not sure if the television made it out or not.
Remember in the movie "WarGames" when MATTHEW BRODERICK hacked into the school's computer to change his grades? For three decades, people have been dreaming of hacking their way to straight A's.
Well, 25-year-old Roy Sun actually did it. And now he's going to jail. Roy was an electrical engineering student at Purdue University in Indiana. And not a very good one. So he and another student figured out a way to hack into their professors' computers and change their grades. First they secretly switched their professors' computer keyboards with hacker keyboards that record every key pressed. Then they used the results to get their professors' passwords, and used the passwords to change their grades. Roy changed eight F's and one D into A's. The other student changed one of his girlfriend's grades. Eventually they got caught, and both pleaded guilty to two counts of computer tampering and one count of conspiracy to commit computer tampering. But the other fled back to Japan, where he's from, and he's been there since. Roy was just sentenced to 90 days in jail, plus almost four years of probation after that.
Thursday was the luckiest AND most profitable day of this guy's life . . . in more ways than one.
On Thursday morning, police in Hingham, Massachusetts pulled over 22-year-old Scott Lowe of Rockland, Massachusetts for speeding. And he had a hell of an excuse. He told the cops he'd just won $50,000 on a $2 lottery scratcher . . . and he was heading to the lottery headquarters in Braintree, Massachusetts to cash it in. The police noticed he was SHAKING from excitement. He even showed them the ticket. And he was telling the truth . . . he'd won $50,000. So they let him GO . . . with a warning on his speeding ticket. Which is kind of like winning a SECOND lottery for a few hundred dollars more. Scott headed on to the lottery office and cashed in his ticket.
This happened on Valentine's Day but the report just came out.
Back on the 14th, 53-year-old Michael Williams of Sumter, South Carolina went to Applebee's for lunch. We're guessing he wasn't on a Valentine's Day lunch date, but you never know. He tried to pay with his debit card, but it was declined. So Michael offered to pay in cash . . . and pulled a TRILLION DOLLAR BILL out of his wallet. Somehow, the staff figured out it wasn't real and they called the cops. Michael wasn't arrested for using a fake bill, though . . . turns out he had an outstanding contempt of court charge so they arrested him for that.
Back in 2005, when Kayla Finley of Pickens, South Carolina was 18, she rented a VHS copy of "Monster-in-Law" from a video store called Dalton Videos. Now, nine years later, Kayla is 27. . . and STILL has that VHS of "Monster-in-Law".
If you've been lucky enough to block "Monster-in-Law" out of your memory, it was a "comedy" with JENNIFER LOPEZ and JANE FONDA. Dalton Videos has gone out of business, like almost all video stores . . . but while it was still around, the owner wanted JUSTICE. When Kayla never returned his movie, he reported her to the cops . . . and they issued an ARREST WARRANT for her. She's ignored all of their letters telling her to turn herself in for the past nine years . . . so finally, last Thursday, they arrested her for one misdemeanor charge of failure to return a rented video cassette. She spent the night in jail and was released on Friday morning.
(Huffington Post / NBC 4 - Greenville / Hollywood Reporter)
You probably know the feeling of waiting anxiously all day to get a package in the mail or from UPS. As an adult, it's pretty much the closest we get to the feeling of Christmas morning as a kid. Life is sad.
Anyway, on Saturday, 25-year-old Robert Kiefer of Akron, Ohio spent the entire day anxiously waiting for a check to come in the mail. Finally, around 3:30 P.M., his 56-year-old postman delivered his mail . . . but NO CHECK. Naturally, Robert immediately placed the blame on the POSTMAN. And, as if life isn't hard enough for postal workers right now . . . Robert ATTACKED the guy. Robert PEPPER SPRAYED him, then BIT HIM in the leg. They started wrestling in the streets until the cops came and broke things up. Robert was arrested for assault and resisting arrest. He's still locked up because he couldn't post $1,000 bail. Obviously. He didn't get his check, after all.
On Friday night, 24-year-old Lacinda Robinson of Denver, Colorado got home and found her house had been ROBBED. So she called the cops and asked them to meet her at a McDonald's, since she didn't feel safe at home anymore.
And while she was waiting for them in the McDonald's parking lot, three guys pulled up and asked her if she wanted to buy a Playstation for cheap. She said no. Then she saw one of the guys was wearing a Washington Redskins jacket . . . which she recognized as one SHE owned. And that's when she realized these guys were trying to sell her stuff back to her . . . without knowing it was HER STUFF. She grabbed two off-duty cops and told them what was going on, and they arrested all three guys. Their names or ages weren't released since they're all under 18. Lacinda got some of her stuff back, but is still missing an iPad and some cash.
Remember ten years ago when those Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish were everywhere? You don't see them much anymore . . . but now they're FIGHTING CRIME.
If you're not familiar with the Big Mouth Billy Bass, it's a plastic fish mounted on a plaque, that moves around and sings annoying songs when you push a button. The original ones were motion activated, to startle someone when they walked by. Earlier this week, a burglar broke into a fishing store in Rochester, Minnesota . . . and the store had a Big Mouth Billy Bass on the wall near the door. As the burglar broke through the door, he knocked the fish down. And when it hit the ground, it started singing AL GREEN'S "Take Me to the River". The lyrics go, "Take me to the river, drop me in the water." Apparently, that SPOOKED the burglar . . . because he dropped the fishing tackle he'd planned on stealing and ran out. Police are still looking for him.
If you were a criminal running from the cops, what would your ideal mode of transportation be? A helicopter? A motorcycle? Whatever it is, I GUARANTEE this ain't it.
Two 23-year-olds in Florida named Garrett Eure and Jessie Bryant are wanted for battery and armed burglary. And on Monday, they were hiding out at Garrett's girlfriend's house, about 60 miles east of Tallahassee. Somehow, they caught wind that police were coming for them. So they took off on foot, and MIGHT have been okay if they'd just kept running. But instead, they made it to a river . . . and decided to jump in a CANOE. Over the next five hours, they paddled about nine miles down the river . . . and probably thought they were in the clear. But once police dogs tracked them to the river, the cops realized they must be in a boat, got their OWN boat with a MOTOR on it, and easily caught up to them. Both men are now in jail, and Garrett's girlfriend was arrested for aiding and abetting.
In America, your first instinct when someone breaks into your house is to shoot them. Apparently in other countries, they sometimes take a slightly less DRASTIC approach.
A guy in Sweden named Tomas Holmberg woke up around 1:00 A.M. on Monday to a BURGLAR trying to come in through the door of his balcony. So he ran to the door, OPENED IT, and managed to subdue the guy. Which is when you'd expect him to do something awesome . . . like throw him OFF the balcony. But the guy didn't resist. So instead, Tomas called 911. And while they waited for police to show up, he offered the guy a cup of COFFEE to help him warm up. When the cops got there, the two men were sitting at the kitchen table talking. And after the 21-year-old APOLOGIZED to Tomas, police took him into custody.
Your flatulence is bad. COW flatulence makes yours smell like an expensive vanilla and lavender candle . . . and apparently it can cause chaos like THIS.
Flatulence contains methane gas . . . and cow flatulence has high enough levels it can be DANGEROUS. Yesterday, in Rasdorf, in central Germany, 90 cows at a dairy farm were exceptionally gassy . . . which means they were releasing a LOT of methane. Then some static electricity ignited all the methane they were releasing . . . and the farm shed they were in EXPLODED. Fortunately, no cows or people were killed in the explosion. Although one cow did need to be treated for burns.
It's definitely obnoxious when someone takes too many items into the express lane at a store . . . but is it worth going to JAIL? Over the weekend, it caused a SENIOR CITIZEN BRAWL at a Walmart in Florida.
On Saturday night, 65-year-old John Malherbe was unloading items from his motorized shopping cart onto the belt at a Walmart. Even though the lane was for 20 items or less, John had twenty-TWO items. The guy behind him was 77-year-old William Golladay. As John unloaded his items, William started COUNTING. And when John blew right past 20, William started SCREAMING that he couldn't use the register. Things got heated . . . and William ended up SHOVING his cart into John. Managers escorted him away, but he stormed back in with his fists up, looking to keep the fight going. At that point, cops got there and intervened. John's right elbow was injured by the shopping cart, but he declined medical treatment. William was arrested for battery on a person 65 years or older.
Early Saturday morning, 20-year-old Ruben Diego Ortega of Santa Ana, California broke into a house and stole a few cell phones and a PlayStation. And all that must've really tired the guy out.
Because when he went upstairs into the master bedroom, he decided to jump in bed with the couple who OWNS the house. Ruben hopped into bed, curled up at their feet like a dog, and went to sleep. Around 8:00 A.M., the man woke up and felt something touching his leg. He looked down, saw Ruben . . . and chased him out. Then he called the cops. They tracked Ruben down with the stuff he stole, and arrested him.
The beginning of this story is about a guy who obviously wasn't thinking clearly. The second half is a possible explanation for WHY he wasn't.
Back in October, someone started walking into a hospital in Altoona, Pennsylvania and stealing bottles of hand sanitizer. And it happened over and over again for MONTHS. (Altoona is about 100 miles east of Pittsburgh.) Well, last month police finally arrested 51-year-old Lee Ammerman after they saw him walking around the hospital, questioned him, and he admitted to the thefts. And when they asked WHY he needed so much hand sanitizer, he explained that he enjoyed mixing it with ORANGE JUICE and DRINKING IT, for the alcohol. It's not clear how many brain cells Lee has killed since October . . . or how many he had to BEGIN WITH. But in all, he stole about $80 worth of hand sanitizer, and faces charges of misdemeanor theft and receiving stolen property. He's due in court February 5th.
If you've ever been on the receiving end of an ATOMIC WEDGIE, they're not pleasant. That's where the wedgie is so powerful, the waistband actually makes it the whole way over your HEAD
Well, late last month, 58-year-old Denver St. Clair of McLoud, Oklahoma received what might be the most devastating wedgie of all time. Four days before Christmas, on December 21st, Denver's 33-year-old stepson Brad Davis showed up at his house. Brad's a former Marine, and they started fighting about Brad's mom, who'd previously accused Denver of domestic abuse. During the fight, Brad grabbed Denver's underwear, yanked them up over his head in an atomic wedgie . . . and it KILLED HIM. According to the coroner, Denver died of asphyxiation from being strangled by the waistband. Blunt force trauma played a role too. According to Sheriff Mike Booth, the underwear was still over Denver's head when police got to the scene. And Davis actually used the term "atomic wedgie" while explaining what happened. Davis claims Denver attacked HIM, and the wedgie was self-defense. But he was arrested on Tuesday, and it's been ruled a homicide.
In case you've run out of ways to describe how friggin' cold it is, here's a new one: It's worse than PRISON.
On Sunday, a 42-year-old inmate in Lexington, Kentucky named Robert Vick broke out of jail, wearing only his prison-issued clothes and a jacket. Which was WAY underdressed, considering the temperature in Lexington was in the single digits. So he broke into an abandoned farmhouse, stole some clothes, and spent the night in a barn. But overnight it got down to NEGATIVE TWENTY with the wind chill factor. And by the next day, he'd had enough. So he walked to a nearby motel . . . and asked them to call the COPS on him. Paramedics checked him out, and then brought him back to jail. He's currently serving a six-year sentence for burglary, and five years on other charges. It's not clear if he'll get more time for escaping.
32-year-old Walid Chaabani of Livorno, Tuscany, Italy is really putting MARITAL BLISS into perspective.
Walid was convicted of drug dealing recently, and got sentenced to house arrest. And we're not sure how LONG he was stuck in his house, but last week he had a special request for the police. He told them he was DONE . . . he just couldn't take being stuck in his house anymore, because of his NAGGING WIFE. He begged the cops to let him spend the rest of his sentence in prison. They were cool with it and took him to prison the same day.
Remember when people felt like they needed REAL reasons to get divorced? This is pretty much the opposite of that.
In Kuwait, a woman has apparently filed for a divorce from her husband after one week of marriage . . . because he eats his peas in a weird way. Instead of eating his peas with a fork or a spoon, this guy would scoop up the peas with a piece of BREAD, then eat them off the bread. Bad etiquette? Yes. A valid reason to end a marriage? Seems like a stretch. In the divorce papers, the woman said she was DISGUSTED and SHOCKED by her husband eating the peas with bread, and couldn't stay with him for the rest of her life because of it. There's no word on whether the divorce has been granted yet.
On Friday, 32-year-old Justin Harrel took his girlfriend, Eliana Rios, to Ackley Park in Elk City, Oklahoma, which is apparently famous for its Christmas display. Then he dropped down on one knee to give her a perfect Christmas proposal.
There was just one problem. Before he could ask her to marry him, a COP spotted him . . . and recognized him. Turns out Justin has some outstanding warrants in two different counties for passing bad checks and the cops have been looking for him. So the cop INTERRUPTED his proposal . . . and cuffed him. Justin asked the cop if he could finish proposing before he hauled him off to jail. And apparently, the cop was in the Christmas spirit too . . . because he said yes. Justin finished the proposal, the cop reached into his pocket for him to pull out the ring, Eliana ALSO said yes . . . then Justin was taken to jail. He's still locked up now.
The word "Florida" isn't really an adjective, but we feel like we can use it as one . . . because this is about as FLORIDA as a story can get.
Last week in Miami, 64-year-old Fernando Aguilera walked into a convenience store and tried to trade a LIVE ALLIGATOR for beer. Fernando had caught the four-foot gator at a park nearby, and he asked if the clerk would give him a 12-pack of beer for it. But the clerk called the cops instead. Fernando was cited for illegal possession of an alligator, and he could get up to six months in jail and a $500 fine. The gator was released back into the wild. There's no word what kind of beer Fernando wanted.
There are cat people and dog people . . . and then there are just straight-up IDIOTS like this guy.
48-year-old Mamoru Demizu lives in Japan, and he's been unemployed since 2011. Which is a big problem, because he has A LOT of mouths to feed. For the past several years, he's been keeping 20 stray cats as pets . . . while also riding his scooter all over town to feed about a HUNDRED MORE STRAYS in his neighborhood. And he even rented out a WAREHOUSE to keep some of them in. But doing it cost him around $250 a DAY, partly because he insisted on feeding them GOURMET cat food. Now, obviously he couldn't just STOP feeding them. That would be CRAZY. So instead, he started breaking into houses and STEALING stuff to pay for more food. Police recently tracked down Mamoru and arrested him. Since last September, they say he's stolen at least $185,000 in cash and jewelry. There's no word on what'll happen to all the cats.
If you thought mall Santas had a magical power to make little kids cry BEFORE, this takes it to a whole different level.
A mall Santa at the Brent Cross Shopping Center in London is going to give kids LIE DETECTOR TESTS this week . . . to find out if they're actually naughty or nice. Kids who go to the mall from Wednesday through Friday will get a surprise lie detector test with questions like, "Have you been good this year?" and, "Do you always clean your bedroom?" Afterward, the kids and their parents will get a report on how the kid performed on the test. The mall says they're doing it to, quote, "instill a sense of honesty among children." There's no word on whether the parents will have to give CONSENT to have their kids hooked up to the polygraph.
Now THIS is a boyfriend who would do ANYTHING for his girlfriend. And sure, in this case it's a pretty serious crime, but love is love.
Last weekend, 28-year-old Anthony Borrell of Ocoee, Florida wanted to get his girlfriend out of her waitressing shift so she could go to a family dinner. So he went to a payphone by his house and called in a BOMB THREAT to her restaurant. That's right: He was SO devoted to getting her out he completed the incredibly challenging mission of finding a payphone. But she ended up admitting to the cops that Anthony had texted her about the fake threat. So he was arrested on Thursday for making a false report about planting a bomb.
On Tuesday night, 20-year-old Dustin Felton of Wilmington, North Carolina was arrested two times . . . and while both arrests were stupid, the second one was TRULY stupid.
Around 9:00 P.M., Dustin was trespassing near a public housing complex, and some cops told him to leave. When he got in his car, he peeled out and sped off. So the cops pulled him over and arrested him for trespassing and reckless driving. He got out of jail around midnight on a $2,500 bond. Then, around 2:00 A.M., the police got a call about a man smashing up an SUV. When they got there, the SUV owner told them Dustin was the one who did it . . . and he knew because when Dustin ran away from the scene, he'd dropped his RELEASE PAPERS from jail earlier that night. So Dustin was arrested again. This time his bond was set at $22,000, so he's still in jail. The police believe he also might be linked to ANOTHER crime from that night, smashing two windows on a woman's house and her car windshield. They found his footprint at the scene.
I can't even believe there are people that have THIS little perspective on life. It's tragic.
On Saturday, in case you missed it, the University of Alabama had its perfect football season ruined when Auburn beat them in a miracle finish. 36-year-old Michelle Shepherd of Birmingham, Alabama was at a party with other Alabama fans, including a 28-year-old woman named Adrian Briskey. And after the game, Michelle joked that the loss didn't hurt as badly as seeing the Miami Heat lose an NBA game. That sent Adrian into a RAGE. She started screaming that Michelle wasn't a REAL Alabama fan . . . pulled out a GUN . . . SHOT her . . . and KILLED her. And the two of them had NEVER met before the party. Michelle leaves behind three children. Yesterday, Adrian was charged with murder.
This happened two months ago, but the report just came out now.
Back on September 29th, around 1:00 A.M., 23-year-old Garrett Hurlbut of Apple Valley, Minnesota saw a newspaper delivery truck idling outside of a gas station. So he jumped in, STOLE the truck, and sped off. But police found the truck and Garrett just a few blocks away. And he told them he'd stolen the truck because he was, quote, "running from zombies." As for why he'd stopped, he told them he jumped or fell from the truck . . . apparently he couldn't remember which. He had a blood-alcohol level of .198 and was arrested for stealing a motor vehicle.
We've heard of guys accidentally butt-dialing the cops while they're buying or selling drugs. This takes BUTT-DIALING IDIOTS to a WHOLE new level.
68-year-old Larry Barnett of Jonesboro, Arkansas owns a car dealership called Legend Motor Company. And last Thursday, he butt-dialed a former employee . . . just as he was hiring a HITMAN to KILL the guy. It's not clear why Larry hated him so much that he wanted him dead. But as the guy listened, he heard Larry tell the hitman where he lived. Then he heard, quote, "I don't care if you have to burn his house to the ground with him in it. I don't care what you have to do, make it look like an accident." So the guy called the cops. They came to his house, found his gas stove had been tampered with, and Larry was arrested for conspiracy to commit murder.
Around 6:00 A.M. Thursday morning, a guy in Salt Lake City named Pablo Solorio woke up to the sound of a window shattering . . . which turned out to be a 20-year-old BURGLAR. (His name hasn't been released.)
But while he was climbing through the window he'd broken, he cut his arm, and severed an ARTERY. So instead of yelling at the guy to get out, Pablo immediately realized he needed MEDICAL attention. Pablo and his stepfather took him to the bathroom, and stopped the bleeding. Pablo's girlfriend called 911, and paramedics were able to save the guy's life. Oddly enough, Pablo had actually MET the burglar less than a week earlier. So when the guy saw Pablo, he said hello and talked about how great it was to see him again. (???) He claimed he WASN'T robbing the place . . . and said he HAD to jump through the window to get away from some people who were chasing him. Except that he was holding Pablo's video game console at the time, so that excuse didn't really work. As of Friday, the guy was still in the hospital. Police said he'd be charged with burglary as soon as he was released.
It sucks when you can't find your phone. Frustrating, even. But this might be a SLIGHT overreaction.
On Friday, 21-year-old Manuella Lopez was at a friend's apartment in East Harlem, New York and couldn't find her cell phone. And she went into a state of PURE RAGE. We're not sure if she thought her friend had taken the phone, or she was just so upset it was missing that she needed to get revenge on the universe . . . but she decided to set the apartment ON FIRE. She grabbed some of her friend's clothes, tossed them on the floor, poured gas on them, then tossed her lit cigarette on the pile. Firefighters responded to the scene, but not before five people were injured . . . including an INFANT with minor burns. One of the others was a man in the apartment with Lopez . . . he's still hospitalized in critical condition. Lopez was arrested for assault, arson, reckless endangerment, and criminal mischief. There's no word whether her phone has turned up.
When Green Bay Packers quarterback AARON RODGERS got hurt on the first drive of "Monday Night Football", it pretty much sunk the Packers' chances of beating the Chicago Bears.
It also caused one married couple to have the worst night of their lives. 42-year-old John Grant of Tinley Park, Illinois is a big Bears fan. And his wife Nicole is a big Packers fan. So they made a bet on the game . . . the winner got to use a STUN GUN on the loser for three seconds. They watched at a bar in Mayville, Wisconsin, and both John and Nicole were VERY drunk. After the Bears won, Nicole agreed to her tazing. A cell phone video apparently showed her laughing as she stood there with her arms up. Then John TAZED his wife on her BUTTOCKS. It was over her clothes, but still left a BURN MARK on her butt cheek. At that point, she STOPPED being cool with the bet . . . and called the cops. John was arrested for felony possession of an electric weapon, which carries a max sentence of SIX YEARS in prison.
If your last name is KRUEGER, it's gotta be SLIGHTLY tempting to name your kid "Freddy," right? Maybe not. But this family just got an extra reason.
On HALLOWEEN, a guy in Alexandria, Louisiana named John Krueger and his girlfriend, Jessica Briley, had a baby boy. And if there was even a question whether or not to name the kid "Freddy," having him on Halloween definitely sealed it. Plus, John's great-grandfather's name was Fred. I mean, come on. So John and Jessica named their son Frederick Jack Krueger. Both Freddy Krueger and his mom are doing well.
You shouldn't give the cops a fake name. That goes without saying. But if you DO give the cops a fake name . . . it seems like common sense to at LEAST give them the name of someone who isn't a WORSE CRIMINAL than you.
On Saturday, a cop in Oklahoma City pulled over a guy named Xavier Lott for a broken license plate light. Xavier was worried that he had warrants . . . so he gave the cops his brother's name. Well . . . turns out he was clean, but his BROTHER actually DID have a bunch of warrants. When the cops told him about the warrants, he backpedaled and told them his real name. He could've gotten away with just a warning or maybe a fix-it ticket if he'd given his real name at the start . . . instead, he was arrested for false impersonation.
It's amazing how brave and selfless some people can be when there's an emergency. And it's equally amazing how brave and STUPID other people can be.
A house fire broke out in Columbus, Georgia on Thursday, while six adults and two kids were inside watching TV. Luckily, all of them made it out safely, including a guy named Walter Serpit. But shortly after he made it out, Walter decided to be a hero, and rushed BACK into the burning building. But it wasn't to rescue a pet or grab some family photos. He went back for something WAY more important. Moments later, Walter emerged from the smoke . . . carrying several cans of BUD LIGHT that he rescued from the refrigerator. And by the way, Walter is DISABLED and walks with a CANE. Luckily, both Walter and the beer were fine. (Walter's age hasn't been reported, but he looks like he's in his early 40s.) He ended up explaining to the local news that he took charge, and asked the other adults to make sure the kids were okay. Then he ran back in because, quote, "Being an alcoholic, I was trying to get my beer out." In the end, no one was hurt. And the fire is being blamed on a faulty water heater.
Getting caught with your zipper down is usually just embarrassing. But on Monday, a guy in Florida got ARRESTED because of it . . . and not for the reason you're thinking.
A police officer in Boca Raton was keeping an eye on a parking lot outside a gym, because someone had recently broken into several cars. Which is when he spotted 27-year-old Antwan Mayes getting out of an SUV and looking in people's windows. So the cop pulled him over, and noticed that his zipper was down. Then he saw an I.D. and several credit cards sticking OUT of the zipper. (???) It's not clear why Antwan didn't have the cards in his POCKETS, but he was probably trying to hide them in his underwear, because the cards were all STOLEN. And when the cop checked the vehicle, he also found marijuana, several smartphones, jewelry, and even some MAIL, which was addressed to someone who had ALSO recently been robbed. Antwan was charged with burglary, larceny, and drug possession. He's currently being held on $37,000 bail.
So . . . apparently you can get arrested for spraying someone with a water gun and having a pillow fight. Who knew?
This happened last month but just hit the news now. 19-year-old Giovanna Borge of Port St. Lucie, Florida and her boyfriend got into an argument after he said something to make her angry. She SQUIRTED HIM with a water gun. Then he responded by dumping water on her and hitting her with a pillow. The two of them also reportedly shoved each other. After the cops sorted it out, they decided Giovanna was the PRIMARY AGGRESSOR, so she was arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence. But the reason ISN'T the shoving . . . it really is the squirt gun. The police report says she was arrested for, quote, "squirting water . . . to antagonize and agitate her boyfriend against his wishes."
On the scale of mother-son bonding, this is on the VERY BAD end. Just above anything Oedipal.
Last week, 20-year-old Jesse James Dillen of Greenacres, Florida allegedly MUGGED a 78-year-old man in a Walmart parking lot. As the man was getting into his car, Jesse pushed him and stole his wallet . . . with about $40 inside. Then Jesse jumped into his getaway car . . . with his MOTHER, Anne Negron, serving as his getaway driver. The police tracked them down using surveillance footage, and at first Anne lied about what happened. But eventually she admitted her son had robbed the guy and she'd driven him away. Jesse was arrested and is facing charges of robbery and elderly abuse. Anne wasn't charged.
Last week, a newly married couple was driving back home to Brandenburg, Germany from their honeymoon in France, when the groom pulled over to get gas about four hours outside Berlin. His new wife had been asleep in the backseat, but when he stopped, she got out to use the bathroom. But he didn't realize it . . . and LEFT without her. She didn't have money or her phone . . . and it took TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS before she got to the local police station. They called her husband to come back and get his bride. And THAT'S when he finally realized she was missing. He turned around and picked her up, five hours after he'd left her. For now, they say this ISN'T the end of their marriage. The woman told reporters, quote, "I am not annoyed. He didn't do it on purpose."
Last week, 34-year-old Rogelio Andaverde of Edinburg, Texas wanted to go out drinking with his friends. His wife, Maria Hernandez, wanted him to stay home. So he came up with the perfect plan.
He had his friends put on MASKS and STORM into the house with GUNS . . . then "kidnap" him. They grabbed him, threw him in their car, and drove off to go drinking. Apparently none of them realized that Maria would NOT take it as a joke. She called the cops, who launched an all-out manhunt. They sent out a HELICOPTER, and at least a DOZEN officers to search for him. But they couldn't find him. The next morning, Rogelio walked into his house, and told his wife the kidnappers had shown him mercy and let him go. He might've THOUGHT that would be the end of it . . . but it wasn't. The cops kept investigating and figured out he'd staged the entire thing. So now Rogelio has been arrested and charged with making a false report to the police, which is a Class B misdemeanor. He's looking at up to a $2,000 fine and six months in prison . . . plus whatever his wife does to him. His friends who kidnapped him weren't charged.
31-year-old Timothy Stern has been serving a three-and-a-half year prison sentence in Bristol, England after he robbed a store at knifepoint.
He was at a maximum security prison, but in August, he got transferred to a minimum security prison about 70 miles away, thanks to good behavior. And less than 24 hours after the transfer to minimum security . . . he escaped. And once he was out, Timothy went straight to . . . his OLD PRISON. He knocked on the front door and asked if he could go back in to the maximum security prison, since it was CLOSER to his FAMILY. They admitted him . . . but he was also charged with escaping from prison. And last week in court, he ended up getting 21 extra days added to his sentence . . . but at least he WILL get to serve it in the prison he wanted.
The state of the Internet being what it is, mocking people and being a jerk is more popular than ever . . . because you can do it ANONYMOUSLY. Just remember that when you do that in the REAL world, there are consequences.
A guy in Parsippany, New Jersey went into a Radio Shack store Friday night. And it's not clear what he said, but police showed up after a 20-year-old employee named Andre Santiago punched him in the FACE. When the cops got there, the victim was still bleeding from his left eye, and Andre was hiding in the back. And when they asked why he did it . . . Andre explained to them that he got upset because the man was being SARCASTIC. The customer ended up declining medical assistance, and Andre was arrested for assault. (Ya know, I never go to Radio Shack expecting an assault, but I do go there for batteries. HI-YO!)
Last Wednesday morning, a police officer in Carrollton, Texas named Gene Kimpton responded to a 911 call. He knew there was an emergency situation in the house, but the TYPE of emergency hadn't been passed along.
So he busted into the house with his GUN DRAWN, ready to take on whatever the emergency was. And it was . . . a woman about to give BIRTH. Somehow, the woman HADN'T REALIZED she was pregnant until she went into labor that morning. She was in the bathroom, about to give birth. So Gene put away his gun . . . and jumped right in to help deliver the baby. He helped guide the baby out and wrapped him in a towel until the paramedics got there. The woman and her baby are both in the hospital now, and are both doing well. And her husband was shocked about the baby when he got to the hospital.
The biggest regret in life for 99-year-old Audrey Crabtree from Waterloo, Iowa was not getting her high school diploma.
In 1932 when she was 17, Audrey missed a bunch of school after she got whiplash, and also had to take care of her sick grandmother. So she fell one credit short. Still, she led a great life, had a family including five grand kids and four GREAT grand kids, and ran a flower business for 28 years. But she always talked about how she never got that diploma. Well, back in July one of her grandchildren realized just HOW important it was to her and decided to make a few calls. And at a ceremony on Monday, Audrey's high school presented her with a diploma . . . 81 years after she was supposed to graduate. Audrey's family was on hand to watch it happen, as well as a bunch of seventh graders and their teacher who wanted them to see how important graduating is. All of which made Audrey pretty emotional. And when her high school's current principal gave her the diploma, she joked that she feels a whole lot smarter now.
Have you ever rented a moving truck that wasn't big enough, and had to make two trips? You probably kicked yourself for not paying extra for the bigger one . . . but not as hard as THESE idiots are kicking themselves.
On Friday, three burglars in Winter Park, Florida decided to rob a woman's house while she wasn't home. And they managed to pack $10,000 worth of stuff into the U-Haul they rented. But they wanted MORE, so they left, unloaded the truck, and then went back for a second load. But by that time, a neighbor had realized what was going on and called the woman who lived there. So when they showed up with the empty U-Haul and realized she was HOME, they took off. But the woman followed them in her car, called 911, and now they're facing charges for burglary, criminal mischief, and grand theft.
Tokyo was just awarded the Olympics for 2020, which is huge news for the city, and for the country of Japan. Huge news for EVERYONE except one poor guy named Kohei Jinno. The Olympics HATE Kohei Jinno.
Back in 1964, the last time Tokyo had the summer Olympics, Kohei was 30 years old. His home and his tobacco shop were in a part of Tokyo that the city was going to turn into an Olympic park. So they KICKED HIM OUT. The city bulldozed his home, and he had to live in another town for two years until the government gave him a replacement home . . . near the Olympic Stadium in Tokyo. Now, nearly 50 years later, Kohei is 79, and still living in that home and running his tobacco shop. But the Olympics are coming back to Tokyo in 2020, and the city wants to expand and modernize its stadium. And that means . . . they're kicking Kohei out of his house AGAIN. By the time the Olympics start, he'll be 86. And he says, quote, "I don't want to see the Olympics at all. Deep inside I have a kind of grudge against the Olympics. I may go where you cannot set up a tobacco shop. That means I will lose my reason for living."
Google's gotten a lot of attention for using SELF-DRIVING CARS to take photos for their mapping. But if anyone was worried about self-driving cars causing accidents, remember this: Human drivers are probably WORSE.
Last week, Google had an actual HUMAN driving around in one of their mapping cars, taking photos in Bogor, Indonesia. Big mistake. Apparently the guy slammed into a minivan . . . then drove off once he saw there was real damage. I'm not sure how he thought he could make an inconspicuous getaway in a car with a giant camera rig on top, but he did. And as he was fleeing the scene, he slammed into ANOTHER minivan . . . then bounced off and slammed into a THIRD car. Finally, at that point, he gave up. He was arrested . . . and there's been no word from Google. By the way, the cops say the repairs to the first van he hit would've only cost him 200,000 Indonesia Rupiah . . . the equivalent of $17.50.
One of the oldest excuses in the book for when you get caught doing something wrong is to say, "Ahh, I was testing you and you got me! Well done. You passed the test." And it's ALWAYS a lie, 100% of the time.
32-year-old Montrale Hamilton is an assistant manager at a Burger King in Deltona, Florida. Last Thursday, he saw a deposit bag with $1,400 sitting out, next to the safe. The other assistant manager must've dropped it on the way to do deposits. So Montrale took the bag of cash home. He says it was to teach the other assistant manager a LESSON. But on Friday, the OWNER of the Burger King realized the money was missing. He checked the surveillance video and saw Montrale take the bag. But when Montrale got to work, he'd FORGOTTEN to bring the bag. Why, it's almost as if he WASN'T planning to teach a lesson and was just planning to keep the money. The owner called the police. On Saturday, Montrale was arrested for grand theft.
An Italian restaurant in Amarillo, Texas called Sava Italiano just went out of business. And they didn't leave town quietly . . . or graciously.
(CAREFUL . . .) Instead, the owners posted a sign on the door of the restaurant reading, quote, "You sorry [a**ed], rednecked sacks of goat [sp*rm] had no idea what you had here. Good luck with your pre-packaged frozen [sh*t] food in this town. "We are off to make money in a town whose average IQ is above room temperature. Ciao!" After the photo of the sign started circulating online, the restaurant posted on Facebook, quote, "Don't believe all you hear and see, folks." But that post seems to have been spin . . . since they've already taken it down. And there's strong evidence they really DID put up the sign . . . because it's posted on the locked glass door from the INSIDE. The owners are planning to open a new restaurant in a city where people are much more sophisticated, and much less likely to have sex with their sisters . . . Lubbock, Texas.
On Friday, 26-year-old Robin Gutheridge robbed a Chase bank branch in Syracuse, New York. To hide from the cops, he went up to the 21st floor of an apartment building a few blocks away and tried to duck into the garbage chute.
Only the chute was STEEPER than he was expecting, and Robin FELL 210 FEET, all the way down to the ground floor. But he survived . . . and it's all thanks to sweet, gentle garbage. Robin was able to slow himself down a little by trying to hold the sides of the chute . . . then fell onto a huge pile of garbage. He was still hospitalized with SEVERAL broken bones and internal injuries . . . but he was alive. A maintenance worker heard him calling for help. Detectives were already searching the building for him, so the maintenance man told them Robin was at the bottom of the garbage chute. After he recovers from his injuries he'll be facing robbery charges.
The key to being a good criminal is being meticulous about the little details, so you don't get caught. Here's a guy who is undoubtedly a BAD criminal.
A 29-year-old New Hampshire man named Nickolas Messier decided to take a five-finger discount on some electronics at a local K-Mart on Tuesday evening. He walked out through the store's garden center. Then employees watched him try to toss the items in his car and make a quick getaway. The problem is, he couldn't get into his car . . . because he'd locked his KEYS inside. He ended up running away on foot, but police eventually tracked him down . . . apparently by running his license plate. He was arrested and charged with shoplifting, and for having a large knife in his car, which he wasn't allowed to have because he's a convicted felon. Evidently, it didn't matter that he couldn't ACCESS the knife.
MARK ZUCKERBERG is making billions by exploiting YOUR privacy . . . which makes THIS kind of amusing.
Khalil Shreateh is an unemployed hacker in Palestine. But he's a "good" hacker who tries to help companies make their websites and software more secure, not a "bad" hacker who takes down websites or steals credit cards. Last week, he found a security hole in Facebook that let anyone post to anyone else's wall . . . even if they weren't Facebook friends with that person. Facebook offers people who find security problems at least $500 rewards, so Khalil let them know about the bug. But they ignored him. So he emailed again. And they ignored him again. So . . . he PROVED his bug by hacking Zuckerberg's WALL and leaving a post. He wrote, quote, "First, sorry for breaking your privacy and post[ing] to your wall, I had no other choice . . . after all the reports I sent to the Facebook team." Within MINUTES, Facebook fixed the bug and contacted Khalil. They apologized for not listening to him . . . then told him he won't get the reward for finding the bug because he'd violated Facebook's terms of service by posting on Zuckerberg's wall.
On Sunday afternoon, 39-year-old Mario Garcia and 28-year-old Domingo Garcia-Hernandez tried to rob a restaurant called the Clifton Grill in Chicago. Except they went RIGHT during the Sunday lunch rush.
So when they told the owner they had a GUN and demanded money, he told them he was JUST TOO BUSY with customers . . . so if they came back in an hour when things were slower it would be better. And . . . the two robbers actually DID IT. One hour later, they showed up again. This time the owner was ready for them, called the cops, and stalled until the police got there. Both Mario and Domingo are facing aggravated robbery charges. The police also noted that Domingo's gun was really a squirt gun . . . and that Domingo is only FOUR-FOOT-EIGHT.
On Sunday, 22-year-old Jheline Demesa was having her birthday dinner at a seafood place outside San Francisco. And her waitress accidentally handed her the wrong credit card after she'd paid.
But instead of saying something about the mix-up, Jheline decided to keep the party going . . . by TAKING the card, hitting a mall ACROSS THE STREET, and doing a little birthday shopping. When the rightful owner of the card realized what happened, they immediately called to cancel it. But they found out it had already been used. So the restaurant manager pulled up a photo of Jheline from their security camera, gave it to the victim, and they showed it to mall security. And it turned out that Jheline was still there . . . and STILL shopping. Security called police, and Jheline was arrested and charged with commercial burglary and felony credit card fraud.
Last week, 43-year-old James Andrews of St. Petersburg, Florida went into his Bank of America branch to find out the balance on his checking account. It was negative.
So . . . he ROBBED THE PLACE.
He asked the teller WHY his balance was negative. When she couldn't give him an answer beyond, "Um, because you don't have any money" . . . he told her he was robbing the place. Even though he didn't have a weapon, she handed him $1,000. He took off. Police easily tracked him down about an hour later. He was charged with robbery. The cops also found a little bit of CRACK on him, and he told them he needed the money to pay off his drug dealer.
Any criminal who's this dumb and has this much bad luck was guaranteed to get caught.
25-year-old William Mavrides of Weymouth, Massachusetts had outstanding warrants for witness intimidation, larceny, and assault and battery. On Thursday night, he was at a subway station and started talking to a random stranger. And William bragged that he was a WANTED CRIMINAL and would probably wind up in jail soon. That happened even SOONER than William predicted . . . because the stranger he was bragging to was actually a plainclothes COP. The cop arrested William and took him to jail.
Remember THIS the next time you give a cop a B.S. excuse to get out of a ticket. On Friday night, 28-year-old Carley Williams of Nashua, New Hampshire was pulled over doing 82 miles-an-hour in a 65.
But she explained to the state trooper that her father was DYING in the hospital, and she was rushing to see him. So he took down her basic info and let her go. The problem is, the trooper actually looked into her story. And when he did . . . he found Carley's father actually died back in 2008. He ALSO learned that she was driving on a suspended registration. So, on Sunday, he TRACKED HER DOWN. He went to her house, showed her a copy of her FATHER'S OBITUARY from 2008 . . . and arrested her. She's facing charges for driving with suspended registration and speeding. The police say she was looking at around a $200 speeding ticket. Now she's looking at thousands of dollars in potential fees and court costs.
What would you say if you were driving to a Dave Matthews Band concert and saw Dave Matthews stranded on the side of the road?
That's just what happened to Emily Kraus and her boyfriend, who spotted Matthews as they were traveling to his concert in Hershey, Pa., on Saturday."We saw him on the other side of the road and we pulled my car in here," Kraus told CBS' WHP-TV affiliate. "And he picks up his bike and throws it up here."Matthews was on a preshow bicycle ride when his bike broke down."I did not have a cell phone on the bicycle. So I thought, 'S---," Matthews told the audience later at Hersheypark Stadium. "And then a nice lady named Emily rode up in a red car with a bicycle rack on it and gave me a ride on to the gig."Needless to say, the 7-minute ride to the show was a bit surreal for Kraus with, you know, Dave Matthews in the back seat."We didn't know how to make conversation with him in fact, so we were talking about his tour and where he had come from," Kraus said. "He had just been in Cincinnati and he said 'I'm taking a short break after this one because I have to drop my daughters off at camp.' He was just a very humble guy."The 46-year-old Grammy-winning singer-songwriter invited the pair to dinner and gave them backstage passes and memories that will last a lifetime—or at least until they pick up another stranded rock star."My cheeks still hurt from smiling, giggling and laughing all night long," Kraus wrote on Facebook.Matthews also signed their tickets with a note: "Thanks for the ride.""I woke up this morning, and I rolled over and I said, 'OK, yeah that really happened yesterday," she said. "It was surreal. We couldn't believe it."
I've definitely been REALLY hungry, so I totally understand where this guy is coming from. Although I'm not sure if UPHOLSTERY is going to satisfy that drunk appetite.
Over the weekend, 22-year-old Rick Frederick of Sheridan, Illinois was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. And also, apparently HUNGRY driving. Because when the cops put him into the backseat of their patrol car . . . he started EATING IT. The police didn't catch him until he'd gnawed through the molding on the door of the car. He was hit with 14 charges, including criminal damage to government property for eating the cop car.
A Florida man ran into some serious trouble during an attempted robbery, thanks to a Croc – not the animal, but the shoe that he left behind at the scene of the crime.
Dominick Andrew Giordano was trying to break into a pick-up truck in the parking lot of a Chipotle restaurant when the owner shouted at him, leading him to run off – and out of the black Crocs he was wearing. The victim tracked Giordano to a discount shoe store, where a deputy approached him and found he was carrying a brand-new pair of shoes – and sporting a big stain that he'd created when he peed himself in fear.Giordano offered an explanation, according to the police report. He said he thought the Toyota Tundra was his because he "used to have a truck."
Keep on driving a truck that gets six miles-per-gallon and dumping your toxic waste into the lake!!
According to a new study, POLLUTION has actually kept the number of Atlantic Ocean hurricanes and tropical storms DOWN. Researchers found the particles from air pollution help keep hurricanes from forming on the ocean. And they found that since we started pushing to curb pollution in the 80's, hurricanes and tropical storms have increased. Of course, there are a million BAD side effects of pollution . . . but this could be the one good one. It's also another sign that yes, what humans do affects and changes the climate.
A Florida man who tried to carjack a woman at gunpoint earlier this week got an automatic trip to jail – because he couldn't drive a car with a manual transmission.
The woman, whose name was not released, was flagged down by three teenage girls who started chatting with her before Antoren Bell burst on the scene with gun drawn – telling her it was now his car. The victim fled, leaving Bell to climb into the driver's seat, only to find that he had no clue how to maneuver the vehicle, which he abandoned.Officers quickly caught up with Bell and put the brakes on his criminal career – taking him to jail where he's being held on a $400,000 bond.
In Minnesota, a 37-year-old mother and her 18-year-old son are in trouble . . . for allegedly stealing $5,000 worth of FROZEN GOPHER FEET. Apparently you can get a reward for killing gophers to keep the population down, and you get that money by turning in their feet. So the mother and son stole a ton of feet out of a gopher trapper's freezer. They're facing theft charges.
This isn't one of those universal crimes where you feel like it might happen to you. Because this will NEVER happen to you. In Preston, in southeast Minnesota, a mother and son are accused of stealing $5,000 worth of FROZEN GOPHER FEET. Apparently, a local gopher trapper had the feet in his freezer. 37-year-old Tina Marie Garrison and her son, 18-year-old Junior Lee Dillon broke into his house and stole the gopher feet. They were caught when they tried to turn in the feet for cash. In some parts of Minnesota, gopher trappers kill gophers to keep the population down, and turn in their feet to get reward money. Tina and Junior wanted to make about $3 per foot. Both of them have been charged with receiving stolen property and theft. But they deny they stole the feet, and say they're their own gopher feet.
An Alaska man pulled right into the express line to jail when he was busted for driving under the influence – while behind the wheel of a motorized shopping cart at a grocery store.
Merrill Keith Moses was trying to drive out of the store's parking lot when cops arrived on the scene. His escape was hindered by a store employee who was holding onto the handlebars of the cart in order to impede his progress – and who told officers that Moses regularly piloted similar carts while wasted.He was given a preliminary Breathalyzer test, which measured his breath-alcohol content at .310 percent – nearly four times the legal limit.
An elderly New York City woman was confronted by two thugs trying to pull a home invasion robbery, so she grabbed her phone -- not to call 911, but to crack the men over their heads!
Queens resident Margaret Mazzio saw two guys dressed in FedEx vests trying to force their way into her house, and made the call to handle the situation herself. Her daughter-in-law, who was also in the home at the time, says, "My mother-in-law laid into him with her house phone. She swung and hit him right in the head. He lunged in at her like he was going to attack her, and my sister-in-law grabbed him by the arms and threw him out the door."
Golf is one of those things that's SUPPOSED to be a great way to relax . . . but usually has the EXACT opposite effect. And THIS is what happens when a golf freak-out goes to the EXTREME.
Last Thursday afternoon, 59-year-old Glenn Lott was playing golf in Oakland Township, Michigan, just outside Detroit. On the 13th hole, a 65-year-old golfer in his group started questioning Glenn about his score on the last hole. So Glenn FLIPPED OUT on the guy. He grabbed his five-iron, swung it at the guy, BROKE it over the guy's arm, then used the jagged shaft to STAB the guy in the same arm. The guy took off running, so Glenn hopped in a golf cart and tried to RUN HIM DOWN. The other golfer got away safely. He was treated on the scene and needed stitches. It's not clear if they knew each other, or if they were just randomly paired up. But Glenn is facing a felony aggravated assault charge.
Some Canadian high schoolers weren't satisfied with cleaning out their lockers at the end of the year, so they decided to clean out the whole school – by placing an ad attempting to put it up for sale!
The ad, placed by a group of graduating seniors, shows an asking price of $1.2 million, which includes the grounds of Paul Kane High School in St. Albert, Alberta – and even throws in a full staff, including all full- and part-time teachers.They also agree to include the sophomore and junior classes at the school, noting to sellers that students are built for "optimal performance," and will "meet your every need," from drama performances to haircuts in the cosmetology lab.
A North Carolina woman saw her disability scam spin out after she took a spin of her own – as a contestant on The Price Is Right!
Cathy Wrench Cashwell had been collecting a pension for several years after claiming she couldn't carry out her duties as a postal worker because of a serious shoulder injury she suffered on the job. She had filed paperwork claiming that she couldn't stand, sit, kneel, squat, climb, bend, reach or grasp in any way.But during the course of an investigation, one eagle-eyed worker spotted her on the game show, where she was able to raise both hands above her head and give a hearty spin to the showcase showdown wheel. She pled guilty on Monday to charges of federal fraud charges.That sort of outcome had to make her come on down – way down.
Sagging your pants makes you look like an IDIOT. Which is why this story warms our hearts.
On Friday, 22-year-old Rasheed Garcia of the Bronx, New York was at home. And Rasheed's a guy who likes to wear his pants so they're SAGGING down below his buttocks. Anyway, the house caught on FIRE. The fire was on the first floor, and Rasheed was on the third floor . . . so he had to JUMP to escape. In the process, he suffered BURNS on his BUTTOCKS . . . all because he was sagging his pants. And according to a fire department source, quote, "He had his pants around his buttocks. He got burned on the buttocks. If he had pants on [right], he wouldn't have gotten burned." He's in stable condition.
This is one of those stories about AMERICAN LAZINESS that's REALLY hard to defend. Like, if a pretentious German tourist started berating you about it, you might have to sit there and take it.
Apparently, ready-made popcorn is seeing a huge sales growth in the U.S. . . . because we've become SO LAZY we think that microwaving a bag of popcorn is too much work. In the past year, microwave popcorn has grown 0.84%. Popcorn that's already popped has grown 11.9%. Colleen Bailey is the brand director at Orville Redenbacher. And she says, quote, "Microwave popcorn was all about convenience, having only to wait three minutes to get warm, delicious popcorn. As times changed, the definition of convenience has changed." An industry analyst took that even further. She says Americans love already-popped popcorn because, quote, "You don't have to take the extra step of opening the box, opening the wrapper, [and] hoping you have the skill to watch it so you don't ruin [it]."
On Saturday night, 26-year-old Jeffery Tyler Siegel of Jonesboro, Arkansas was on a date, taking a romantic walk through the Crowley's Ridge Nature Center. When suddenly, a KNIFE-WIELDING MANIAC attacked.
Jeffrey jumped in front of his date, told her to run, then stayed back to fight the guy off. He took two small slashes to the chest, but managed to make the guy run away.
The police and K9 units combed the area for hours, but couldn't find the knife-wielding maniac. Then they noticed Jeffrey saying things that didn't add up . . . and his date told them Jeffrey was texting right before the attack. So they figured it out . . .
Jeffrey had STAGED the entire thing to impress his date. The guy with the knife was really just his friend.
The police told Jeffrey if he admitted it they wouldn't file charges. He admitted it, they kept their word, and the case is closed.
Jeffrey's date was NOT impressed, by the way. She told a reporter that what he did was, quote, "not very heroic."
This is a pretty good way to foil a couple of idiotic amateur robbers.
Last Thursday, 23-year-old Jeremy Lovitt and 19-year-old Gabriel Gonzales went to a Burger King in Stockton, California to rob the place. As some of the employees gave them cash, one employee noticed the guys' getaway car outside the restaurant and idling. So he snuck outside, hopped in, and DROVE OFF in their getaway car. When Jeremy and Gabriel got outside and found their car missing, they panicked and started running. But the cops quickly caught up with them and arrested them. (FOX 40 - Sacramento / NBC 24 - Fresno)
You've probably never heard of Dorset, Minnesota. It's a TINY town in central Minnesota with 22 residents. But THIS is going to get them on the map.
The new mayor of Dorset is . . . a FOUR-YEAR-OLD. His name is Robert "Bobbie" Tufts, and obviously he's the youngest mayor in the country. Dorset doesn't hold elections for mayor . . . they just put everyone's name in a hat and pick out the mayor for the year. And this year, Bobbie won. It's not entirely clear what his job duties are as mayor . . . we're guessing it's just a few public appearances and nothing else. Other than having a random mayor, Dorset's other attempted claim to fame is calling itself the "Restaurant Capital of the World" . . . because they have more restaurants per capita than any other city. I think the mayor thing is a better angle. (Opposing Views)
There aren't many pranks OLDER than putting a "KICK ME" sign on someone's back. But this might be the first time it's found its way into a LAWSUIT.
Harvey Palacio of Albuquerque, New Mexico is an employee at Intel. And he just filed a LAWSUIT against the company because his coworkers put a "kick me" sign on his back last August . . . and actually DID kick him. Harvey says his coworkers usually gave him a hard time, and it peaked with the "kick me" sign. When he went to his boss to complain, his boss ALSO kicked him. The lawsuit is seeking an unspecified amount for damages. Two of the employees who kicked Harvey, including his boss, have already been convicted of petty misdemeanor battery. They each got 16 hours of community service and lost their jobs. Harvey is still working at Intel. Intel says it's reviewing the lawsuit. (Huffington Post)
According to a study earlier this year, 7% of men and 2% of women say if they see an animal in the road . . . sometimes they INTENTIONALLY try to hit it.
An NBC affiliate in Oklahoma City wanted to see if people would SWERVE to avoid an animal in the road. So last week, they put a rubber turtle in the street and observed what happened over two days. In general, most people swerved out of the way. But not everyone did. Four drivers went to the dark side . . . and INTENTIONALLY RAN OVER the turtle. And one car of guys saw the turtle, stopped . . . and STOLE IT. The news chased them down to get it back. The driver told them he stole the turtle because he RACES TURTLES. Quote, "It looked real. I was waiting for it to pee on me. He's not going to win any races."
Thursday was a big day for 58-year-old Erin James of Brookfield, Illinois. She just got her license back after a DUI conviction last year. And to celebrate getting her driving privileges back . . . she went out DRINKING.
You can see where this is going. Her license renewal came to a very quick end . . . because a few hours later, she was pulled over driving herself home, and was arrested for drunk driving. Erin blew a .155 on the breathalyzer, which is just about double the legal limit. The police say Erin intentionally drove someone else's car to the bar because her car had one of those court-ordered breathalyzer ignition locks. This time, Erin is looking at losing her license for TEN YEARS . . . and seven years in prison.
What kind of grandson tries to SELL OUT his sweet old grandmother? She better cut him off from butterscotch candies after THIS.
This happened back in March, but the details didn't come out until a court hearing this week.
On March 2nd, 22-year-old John Ventresca Junior of Center Township, Pennsylvania was driving drunk. He pulled into a convenience store parking lot . . . and ended up hitting TWO parked cars and crashing into a POLE.
When the cops got there, John told them his GRANDMA was driving . . . and that she was inside using the bathroom. He told the cops his grandma crashed because, quote, "she's old, broke her shoulder, and is wearing a sling."
But his grandma wasn't even there. He made the whole thing up to try to pin it on her.
John is facing a DUI charge, plus charges of driving with a suspended license and causing an accident involving unattended property.
Maybe when it comes to catching the DUMBEST criminals, a really soft, plush, comfortable place to sleep works better than an alarm?
Last week, 25-year-old Christopher White of Waterford, Wisconsin got hammered, and broke into a Remax real estate office in Burlington, Wisconsin.
First, he grabbed all the computers and took them outside. But before he could leave with them, something caught his eye. There was a large BEARSKIN RUG on the wall . . . and it must've looked too good to pass up.
So Christopher pulled it down off the wall, curled up on it, and went to sleep.
When employees got to work around 8:30 A.M., they found him sleeping on the rug. The cops came, woke him up, and arrested him.
One of the realtors from the office summed up the night. Quote, "You can't fix stupid. You can just arrest it."
Back in March, a private company called Mars One announced they were offering FREE TRIPS to Mars in 2023.
But there was a catch . . . it's a ONE-WAY ticket. So you're not just volunteering to GO to Mars, you're also volunteering to DIE ON Mars.
Who'd be interested in THAT deal? It turns out, a LOT of people.
One week ago, Mars One opened up the application process . . . and in just the first two days, 33,000 PEOPLE applied to take the one-way trip to Mars.
The application process is still open to anyone who's healthy and over age 18. You can submit your application at Mars-One.com. They're only planning to take 24 people in the end, so the odds aren't with you to die on Mars.
There's a shoplifter in Colorado who dresses sharp . . . and shoplifts stuff to KEEP him looking sharp. He's hit several Walgreen's stores this month, and stole teeth-whitening strips, weight loss pills, condoms, and Rogaine. Police are still looking for him.
This is a pretty vicious cycle: There's a shoplifter in Colorado who doesn't arouse much suspicion because he LOOKS sharp and rich. But he only looks that way BECAUSE of his shoplifting . . .
The sheriff's department in Jefferson County, Colorado is looking for a repeat shoplifter who hits Walgreen's stores in the area.
He's black and in his late 30's, he comes into the store wearing a sweater, tie, and nice pants. And he has a tightly groomed mustache and beard.
Then he steals teeth-whitening strips, weight loss pills, condoms, and Rogaine.
He's hit several stores this month, and stolen THOUSANDS of dollars worth of stuff.
A Florida woman ended up behind bars for calling 911 to complain that she'd been robbed of 50 bucks – by a drug dealer who wouldn't return the cash she gave him after she decided she didn't want to go through with the transaction.
Katrina Tisdale dialed the emergency number twice to report a theft, but when officers responded to the call, she told them she needed help in retrieving the money she'd given to her regular dealer because she realized she didn't have any other cash left over from her social security check.
Tisdale was arrested on charges of misusing the 911 system – the same charge that landed her in jail two years ago.
A Romanian man ended up behind bars after he called cops to report a burglary ... at a house he was already in the middle of burglarizing!
Marius Ionescu was ransacking the home when he heard a loud noise and panicked, hiding under a bed and calling police to report the intruder. When the officers arrived at the address, they conducted a search and found just one person on the premises – Marius, still cowering in the bedroom.
A spokesperson for the police department in Benesti, where the crime occurred, said, "The noise he heard was probably just the family cat. He already has a criminal record for similar break-ins, and given his nervous disposition, he probably should look for another job."
THIS is what happens when you get swept up in trying to be the COOLEST MOM EVER and forget about things like "boundaries" and "laws."
A few weeks ago, 43-year-old Susan Becker of East Northport, New York took her 15-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter out to buy a BB GUN. Then, she drove them around Long Island . . . so they could SHOOT AT CARS.
The police got more than SIXTY reports of broken car windows from BBs over the past two weeks. They finally caught Susan this weekend.
Susan was arrested on Friday and charged with criminal mischief and endangering the welfare of a child. She's locked up right now on $30,000 bail and is due in court tomorrow.
One of the highlights of eating really sugary cereal... besides diabetes...is drinking the milk that's left in the bowl. Because all that sugar soaks in, and turns it into some kind of impossibly delicious super-milk.
Well . . . a company is FINALLY selling milk that tastes like the milk from the bottom of a cereal bowl.
The company is called Cow Wow, and their "cereal milk" is just about to roll out nationwide.
The milk comes in two flavors. We haven't tried them, but from the packaging we're guessing they're modeled after the milk left behind by Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles.
They have two more flavors coming out later this year. And based on the packaging for those, we're guessing they're designed to taste like Lucky Charms, and the HOLY GRAIL of cereal milk flavors . . . Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
The milk comes in eight-and-a-half-ounce packages, and they have about 175 calories each.
A Judge breaks his own rule and enforces punishment on himself!!!
Raymond Voet is a district court judge in Ionia, Michigan. And he has a strict policy that if your cell phone goes off in the courtroom, he'll hold you in contempt of court.
And on Friday, during a trial, a phone went off in Voet's courtroom. There was only one problem . . . it was HIS OWN PHONE.
And to his credit, he stuck by his rules . . . and held HIMSELF in contempt of court. He hit himself with the standard $25 fine.
Voet says he just switched from a BlackBerry to a Windows phone, and he must have bumped the phone.
Quote, "That's an excuse, but I don't take those excuses from anyone else. I set the bar high, because cell phones are a distraction and there is very serious business going on . . . I broke the rule and I have to live by it."
A bank robber in Florida lost his grip on an easy heist when he set down his pistol while stuffing cash into his getaway bag and found himself held at gunpoint by a teller.
The suspect, said to be in his late 40's, entered the branch with his gun already drawn and demanded money from one employee. The man behind the counter reportedly started handing over the greenbacks right away, but when the pace got to be too much for the crook, he put down his gun, which the teller grabbed "without hesitation."
Police say he ran and was seen heading north on a light colored bicycle.
A burglar breaks in and feeds the family dog pudding... So the dog decides to go with him!!
If this happened to me, I'd be angry at the burglar . . . but I'd be even ANGRIER at my dog.
On Saturday night, a couple in East Wenatchee, Washington came home and found a BURGLAR in their kitchen. And their dog, a lab-pitbull mix named Buddy, wasn't attacking the burglar . . . because the guy was feeding Buddy some PUDDING.
The burglar turned out to be 38-year-old Jason McDaniel, and the couple asked him what he was doing there . . . as you do when you find a burglar in your house, feeding your dog pudding.
Jason told them he was looking for a guy to KILL. And when the couple explained that the guy he was looking for didn't live there, Jason decided to leave.
And as he walked out . . . Buddy the dog WENT WITH HIM. Apparently all it took was a little pudding to COMPLETELY shift Buddy's loyalty to Jason.
The cops tracked Jason down and arrested him for residential burglary. But they DIDN'T find Buddy at his apartment . . . so now Buddy is MISSING.
A 33-year-old woman was arrested and jailed over the weekend in Longmont, Colorado, after she admitted to pushing and choking her boyfriend.
So, what set her off? Allegedly, Samantha Malson's boyfriend would not stop singing “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – even after she asked him “25 times” to stop. Who can blame her? (TimesCall.com)
Women are three times more likely to feel love at first sight with their dog than with their boyfriend!!!
According to a new survey by a pet insurance company, women are three times more likely to have felt love at first sight with their DOG, than with their husband or boyfriend.
Three out of four women said that they fell in love with their dog the first time they saw it. Only 27% said they felt that way the first time they met their boyfriend or husband.
In fact, 43% of women don't even REMEMBER the first time they met their man. But 77% remember meeting their dog for the first time, and said it was one of the most important moments of their lives.
But men shouldn't feel too badly about the survey. Women said they were more likely to decide to get a dog based on instant attraction . . . but there are a lot more factors for them to consider before starting a relationship.
On Monday night, a 31-year-old man from San Dimas, California was on a date and wanted to impress the woman. So he came up with a HORRIBLE plan . . . to intentionally CRASH into another car. Not sure how that's impressive, but whatever.
He SLAMMED into a 48-year-old man's car. They both pulled over and got out. And the guy kept trying to impress his date by taking a SWING at the driver he'd just hit.
Unfortunately for him, the 48-year-old knew how to fight. So he GRABBED the 31-year-old, held him in a bear hug and took him down. That ended the fight.
The 31-year-old managed to get away and drive off. The police tracked him down and arrested him for assault with force likely to cause great bodily harm.
There's no word on whether his date was impressed by him causing an unnecessary car accident, then getting beat up.
A Florida woman rang up a heap of trouble by calling 911 eight times within the course of an hour – to complain that the phone she was using wouldn't make calls.
Kellie Williams had just purchased a new phone and couldn't figure out how to get it out of its pre-sale mode, which only allowed her to make emergency calls. So instead of reading a manual, she opted to call the emergency number to ask for advice on the matter – eventually cursing out a dispatcher who told her to call the phone company for help.
Between expletives, she said, "You're the only person I can call" and demanded that someone be sent over to fix her phone. (Central Florida News 13)
It wasn't so happy for the Easter Bunny -- or at least for a guy dressed up as the holiday character.
The man in the rabbit suit was driving down Interstate 8 in La Mesa, California on Saturday on a red motorcycle with a sidecar when he was pulled over by a California Highway Patrol officer for not wearing a helmet. It seems a helmet and his bunny ears didn't play well together.
Although he was caught crying in a photo, it wasn't a complete rotten-egg experience for the bunny. In a possible nod to the holiday spirit, the officer opted not to give our furry friend a ticket and let him off with a warning about the dangers or riding a motorcycle without a helmet.
March 24th is going to cost everyone in this family a FORTUNE in presents. They'd better start saving now . . .
Last Sunday, on March 24th, a baby named Olivia was born in Devon, England. And March 24th is ALSO her MOTHER'S birthday. But get this . . . HER mother's birthday was ALSO March 24th.
Nicky Woodgate is the grandmother. She was born on March 24th, 1962, and turned 51 this year. Her daughter . . . Natasha Woodgate . . . was born on March 24th, 1992. She turned 21 this year, and just had Olivia on March 24th.
Olivia wasn't supposed to be born on the 24th . . . she was actually due on the 19th. But she showed up five days late, giving all three women in the family the same birthday.
The odds of a grandmother, mother, and daughter all having the same birthday are 133,225 to one. And the odds of Olivia having a child on March 24th one day are . . . 48 million to one.
A woman stabs her boyfriend and throws his prosthetic leg!!!
On Monday night, 48-year-old Michelle Thomas of Greenwood, South Carolina got into a fight with her boyfriend. It turned physical . . . and ESCALATED.
Michelle ended up STABBING him, mostly on his hands as he put them up to block her. Then she ran . . . and made sure he couldn't chase her.
Turns out the boyfriend has a prosthetic leg. So Michelle YANKED IT off him . . . then THREW IT in the yard so he couldn't chase her. At least, he couldn't chase her without hopping, which isn't particularly effective in a chase.
He also had a SPARE prosthetic leg . . . maybe in case a crazy woman threw out his original one day? But Michelle grabbed THAT one and also threw it into the yard.
The boyfriend was treated for cuts to his hands. Michelle was arrested for aggravated criminal domestic violence.
A Florida couple ended up in the slammer after refusing to pay for their Grand Slam breakfasts -- and threatening fellow patrons for not forking over any dough to help.
Lisa Marie Antonucci and Leonard Patrick Baker settled in at a Denny's in Lake Worth and proceeded to hoover down about $35 worth of chow, but when the check came, they were able to produce only about eight bucks between them. They stood up and asked for donations to help them out of the jam, but when no one came forward, they grew loud and threatening -- then bolted for the exit.
By that time, a manager had called cops, who arrived while the pair were still in the parking lot. And here's a shocker -- officers found that they'd stolen the restaurant's silverware on their way out.
Well . . . at least this guy knows his mom can't give him a guilt trip for getting arrested.
Around 1:00 A.M. on Sunday, a 27-year-old from Newmarket in Ontario, Canada was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. He was taken to the station, and when he was released a few hours later, he called his MOM to come pick him up.
So his 53-year-old mother got in her car to go get him. But when she got there, the SAME COP smelled alcohol on HER breath, and gave her a breathalyzer. Even though it was around 4:00 A.M., SHE was drunk too.
So the mother was ALSO arrested for drunk driving.
Both of them had their licenses suspended, and are due in court next month.
Ever pay a thousand bucks for an ice cream sundae? That's what a Florida man was forced to do after he tried to steal one – which would've only cost him three dollars in the first place.
Tobias Franklin ordered the frozen treat, then asked the owner how much it cost. When he got the answer, he grabbed the dish and bolted, only to have the owner call cops, and take part in the chase himself – leading to Franklin's capture a few blocks away.
The 20-year-old was charged with a third-degree felony, and held on $1000 bond.
Whatever you do, don't forget to bring your wife a gift!!!
A Florida woman allegedly threatened to kill her husband after he returned from a trip without a gift for her.
Sandra Guedes, 36, from Port St. Lucie, was upset her husband came back from a trip to Brazil with nothing for her – but booze for himself and watchbands for his friends.
Her husband went to sleep in their bedroom when Guedes reportedly came in and told him she cut the band of a watch he bought for his buddies. She also ripped a Harley-Davidson T-shirt and dumped out a bottle of Cachaca.
The husband told police that when he went to check on the items, Guedes came in with a foot-long knife and threatened to kill him if he returned to the bedroom. When police arrived she admitted to everything but denied threatening to kill her husband. Guedes was arrested on an aggravated assault charge. (WPTV)
I've always wanted to know what the sexiest day of the week was... Now I know!! A new survey asked people to name the SEXIEST DAY OF THE WEEK. Not surprisingly, Saturday came in first, with 37% of the vote. Followed by Friday at 23%, Sunday at 16%, Monday at 8%, Wednesday at 7%, Thursday at 6%, and finally Tuesday at 4%.